One day a boy was sitting in his grandfather's lap and his grandfather was smoking a cigar.

Boy:Grandpa can I have a puff of your cigar?

Grandfather:Does your dick touch your ass?


Grandfather:Well no you can't have a puff of my cigar.

A few days later the boy was sitting in his grandfather's lap again but this time his grandfather was drinking a beer

Boy:Grandpa can I have a sip of your beer?

Grandfather:Does your dick touch your ass?


Grandfather:No you can't have a sip of my beer.

The next day the boy was eating some cookies outside on the porch and his grandfather came outside,

Grandfather:That smells good. Can I have one?

Boy:Does your dick touch your ass?


Boy:Well go fuck yourself cause you ain't getting none.

Attention ALL Uglys!!
Send me your Pics, Make it Anything. Your bike, car, tattoo, chicks in the shitter,
I don't give a fuck. Lets see what ya got!
Got Something to announce? Let us know.
 In an Ugly fashion, we'll get it up!!
Hey, What ya got on your mind?
Post your comments below.
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The National HQ Chapter is regularly meeting and discussing all the issues being brought to our attention. We do our best to address these issues in a fare and timely manner. If you have an issue, please contact your Regional Officer first and let them assist in putting problems to rest.

Not all UMF Chapters have been keeping up on your Charter dues. Please check your membership rosters and submit your dues as soon as possible. Those in good standing are priority.

JC National Prez
Happy Halloween UMF
Attention Uglys!!
We are have our first annual "Wheels for Warriors" poker run patches on sale.
This run is replaced what was called the Mike Aon Run in the past. This run is set up to gather funds to donate to the "Wounded Warriors Program"

The patches are 3' and like the Catholic School Girl Run, have a dated rocker the surrounds the center patch.

You dont have to have been on the run to buy the patch! Just show your support!

Center Patch is $5.00 + Shipping
Dated Rocker is $5.00 + Shipping

Dont request the patch on the Forums. It isn't monitored.

If you want the patch, contact Roger at and send the money to the National Chapter Treasurer.
UMF N.C. Annual Wheels for Warriors Run Patches on Sale
Really? Is that what its called these days? An open wound!
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