N.H. UGLYFEST 2013
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8/23/13 Friday - UMF Pre-Party. This one is for UMF Patch Holders and Invited Guest!.We will be tappin a couple kegs or bring your own hard liquor.


8/24/13 Saturday - Open Party - Schedule as follows:
Wizard's Camp Site
(Clothing Optional)
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12:00 pm - 10:00 pm
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POLL IN THE HOLE

Each team steps up to the starting line. One with a roll of toilet paper between their legs, the other with a toilet plunger between their legs. On the word GO, the one with the toilet paper roll will make their way to the end of a 20 foot runway. Once there, the other will then go. The one with the toilet plunger will poke the plunger handle through the hole of the toilet paper roll and carry the roll of paper back to the start line. First one back wins.
(The spin is...No hands will touch the toilet paper roll or the toilet plunger)
 
 
ONE COLD UGLY BITCH
 
Beat it, blow on it, rub it, smack it, hit it, bang it, do whatever you need to get the knots out.
Only this time, you have to do it in public!!!.
 
This game is for the women only.
In this game, tee shirts that have been soaked in water, tied in knots and frozen to a block of ice. Untying these knots is a total UGLY BITCH!!!. A frozen tee will be handed out to each of the ladies. Each of the contestants will do whatever it takes to get the knots untied.
(The rub.....You don’t get a partner to finish off….. untying the knots that is. This is a solo event.
 
Winner: The first to untie all the knots and put the tee shirt on, wins!!!
 
Note: it may be difficult to put this cold wet tee shirt on over another shirt. You are fully encouraged to take off what you have on at the beginning of the event to rapidly facilitate putting the cold tee on. PLEASE FEEL FREE TO FINISH THIS EVENT EVEN IF YOU’RE NOT THE FIRST TO GET THE KNOTS OUT.
 
 
PRODUCE IT
 
Each team will be given a paper with a list of items.
 
On "GO", you will will be allowed 20 minutes to accumulate as many of the list as they can.
 
The person with the highest score wins.
This is a crowd participation event. ANYTHING GOES
All items must be "In Hand" (with the exception of Item 4)
 
 
PUMP IT UP
 
TEAM EVENT!!
Teams will have one hard hat, one balloon, one squishy foot pump and a hose.
 
On the "GO", each team will have to put on the hard hat and tie the squishy pump around HER waist. A balloon will be attached to the nipple on the top of the hard hat.
 
Each girl will place the squishy end against her bum and bend over. The bloke then stands behind her and squishes the pump between himself and her bum (No hands on the squishy pump!! you can hold on to her hips, hair, shoulders or tits, I don't care, just don't touch the pump).
 
The guys have to pump as hard as they can to blow up the balloons. First one to pop her balloon wins !!
 
 
RUBBING AN UGLY ONE OUT
 
This is a team event.
Toilet plungers (They could be used, who knows. They came from George’s “Whorehouse”. Rule of thumb – “If they smell like shit, well…stop smelling it!”) that have been painted on the handle (pole) will be placed between the man’s legs. His partner ( A WOMAN) will approach from the front, bent over or on her knees. Assume what ever position that seams natural. When the whistle blows, the ladies will proceed to use the standard issued sand paper and rub his pole out….
The paint that is!! Sand all that paint off the end. 
 
Winner: The first to remove all the paint off her partner’s pole wins.
 
Note: Handle with care, all poles might be slightly pink and tender to the touch after the event. But then, what the fuck wouldn’t be after being brutalized with sand paper and no lube!!! Hopefully, you at least get a kiss or a hug or something after it’s over.
 
______________________________________________________________________
 
Rules for all the UMF Events
 
The following must be observed:
 
• Have fun, it’s a PARTY!!!
 
• Be Safe. You are an adult and are expected to do what you need to keep from getting hurt.
 
• Be willing to laugh at yourself. If you fuck up, or are fucked up, be willing to join everyone else in laughing at your dumb ass.
If this isn’t possible for you – Go home.
 
• Any pissing, moaning, wining, crying, arguing, fighting or anything that would generally be considered bullshit, will get you ejected from continuing in the party. In other words “Have a Coke and a Smile and Shut the Fuck Up”
 
• There will be Referees and Judges during the games. The game's Referees and Judges have the final say. Refer the last rule.
 
• Be a good winner/loser. Someone has to win and someone has to loose. This is just what happens during a competition. If you win... enjoy your victory. But don’t belittle those who gave you the thrill of competition. At least they had the balls/gina to get involved. If you lost, congratulate the winner with a smile, handshake and/or a hug for a game well played.
(I did have two naked females in mind while thinking of the hug part).
 
I’m sure that anti-biotic hand lotion will most likely be available prior to shaking hands. Just in case you caught a glimpse of that Ugly Mother Fucker Roger scratching his balls just prior to congratulating you.
 
Words to Remember: 
“IF IT SMELLS LIKE SHIT…. STOP SMELLING IT YOU PERV”.
 10:00 am - Sign in/up
11:00 am - Peg O's Wedding
11:30 am - Go Eat Mother Fuckers. You' re going to be drinking all day
12:00 pm - Pole In The Hole - Game
12:30 pm - One Cold Ugly Bitch - Game
  1:00 pm - Raffle
  2:00 pm - Produce It - Game
  2:45 pm - Raffle
  3:45 pm - Raffle
  4:45 pm - Raffle
  5:45 pm - Raffle
  6:00 pm - Pump it up - Game
  6:30 pm - Raffle
  8:00 pm - Rubbing An Ugly One Out - Game
  8:30 pm - Wet T-Shirt Contest - Game
10:00 pm - Awards Ceremony – 50/50