8/23/13 Friday - UMF Pre-Party. This one is for UMF Patch Holders and Invited Guest!.We will be tappin a couple kegs or bring your own hard liquor.
8/24/13 Saturday - Open Party - Schedule as follows:
POLL IN THE HOLE
Each team steps up to the starting line. One with a roll of toilet paper between their legs, the other with a toilet
plunger between their legs. On the word GO, the one with the toilet paper roll will make their way to the end of a 20 foot runway.
Once there, the other will then go. The one with the toilet plunger will poke the plunger handle through the hole of the toilet paper
roll and carry the roll of paper back to the start line. First one back wins.
(The spin is...No hands will touch the toilet paper
roll or the toilet plunger)
ONE COLD UGLY BITCH
Beat it, blow on it, rub it, smack it, hit it, bang it, do whatever
you need to get the knots out.
Only this time, you have to do it in public!!!.
This game is for the women only.
In this game,
tee shirts that have been soaked in water, tied in knots and frozen to a block of ice. Untying these knots is a total UGLY BITCH!!!.
A frozen tee will be handed out to each of the ladies. Each of the contestants will do whatever it takes to get the knots untied.
(The rub.....You don’t get a partner to finish off….. untying the knots that is. This is a solo event.
Winner: The first to untie
all the knots and put the tee shirt on, wins!!!
Note: it may be difficult to put this cold wet tee shirt on over another shirt.
You are fully encouraged to take off what you have on at the beginning of the event to rapidly facilitate putting the cold tee on.
PLEASE FEEL FREE TO FINISH THIS EVENT EVEN IF YOU’RE NOT THE FIRST TO GET THE KNOTS OUT.
Each team will
be given a paper with a list of items.
On "GO", you will will be allowed 20 minutes to accumulate as many of the list
as they can.
The person with the highest score wins.
This is a crowd participation event. ANYTHING GOES
All items must
be "In Hand" (with the exception of Item 4)
PUMP IT UP
Teams will have one hard hat, one balloon, one
squishy foot pump and a hose.
On the "GO", each team will have to put on the hard hat and tie the squishy pump around HER waist.
A balloon will be attached to the nipple on the top of the hard hat.
Each girl will place the squishy end against her bum and bend
over. The bloke then stands behind her and squishes the pump between himself and her bum (No hands on the squishy pump!! you can hold
on to her hips, hair, shoulders or tits, I don't care, just don't touch the pump).
The guys have to pump as hard as they can
to blow up the balloons. First one to pop her balloon wins !!
RUBBING AN UGLY ONE OUT
This is a team event.
Toilet plungers (They could be used, who knows. They came from George’s “Whorehouse”. Rule of thumb – “If they smell like shit, well…stop
smelling it!”) that have been painted on the handle (pole) will be placed between the man’s legs. His partner ( A WOMAN) will approach
from the front, bent over or on her knees. Assume what ever position that seams natural. When the whistle blows, the ladies will proceed
to use the standard issued sand paper and rub his pole out….
The paint that is!! Sand all that paint off the end.
The first to remove all the paint off her partner’s pole wins.
Note: Handle with care, all poles might be slightly pink and
tender to the touch after the event. But then, what the fuck wouldn’t be after being brutalized with sand paper and no lube!!! Hopefully,
you at least get a kiss or a hug or something after it’s over.
for all the UMF Events
The following must be observed:
• Have fun, it’s a PARTY!!!
• Be Safe. You are an
adult and are expected to do what you need to keep from getting hurt.
• Be willing to laugh at yourself. If you fuck up,
or are fucked up, be willing to join everyone else in laughing at your dumb ass.
If this isn’t possible for you – Go home.
pissing, moaning, wining, crying, arguing, fighting or anything that would generally be considered bullshit, will get you ejected
from continuing in the party. In other words “Have a Coke and a Smile and Shut the Fuck Up”
• There will be Referees and
Judges during the games. The game's Referees and Judges have the final say. Refer the last rule.
• Be a good winner/loser.
Someone has to win and someone has to loose. This is just what happens during a competition. If you win... enjoy your victory. But
don’t belittle those who gave you the thrill of competition. At least they had the balls/gina to get involved. If you lost, congratulate
the winner with a smile, handshake and/or a hug for a game well played.
(I did have two naked females in mind while thinking of the
I’m sure that anti-biotic hand lotion will most likely be available prior to shaking hands. Just in case you caught
a glimpse of that Ugly Mother Fucker Roger scratching his balls just prior to congratulating you.
Words to Remember:
IT SMELLS LIKE SHIT…. STOP SMELLING IT YOU PERV”.